Little fairy

Someone to love.

2009-12-14T06:05:00.000-08:00

What we all need as human beings
is really, just
one single person
to be absolutely on our side.

Someone who has faith in us,
someone to really love us as we are,
no questions asked,
without reservations
or judgements of any kind;

Just a single person
who will always be there
to help us, protect us;

To inspire us, applaud us
when we have succeeded in something,
no matter how insignificant
it may seem to an outsider;

Someone who will encourage us
to strive towards
the best we can possibly be,
and always, always cheer us on;

Someone who cannot ever be tempted away
by youth, beauty, money, bribes
and will always choose us,
every day, each moment afresh;
someone to stand by us
when everything falls apart,
who will love us no matter what;

Someone who will never let us down,
never give up on us,
never leave us
and who will always, always
be fiercely and actively loving of us
in every way, every day,
until we take our last breath in physicality.

Well, that person is here.

It is you.

And now, finally, we can start
on the road to be that person
we always knew we should have been -
with a little help from our self,
our endlessly loving totality.

-Silvia Hartmann 2002

Saya juga reti marah. Faham tak?

2009-12-14T05:31:00.000-08:00

Kadangkala, rasa macam nak memberontak supaya mereka tahu.

Tetapi, masalahnya, saya ini penakut. Takut jika memberontak, mereka terluka.

Jaga hati mereka tak apa. Mereka tak pula jaga hati saya. Ah!

Pendam saja mampu. Sangat tidak suka. Penat lah bila terpaksa berpura-pura plaster senyum manis. Benci tahu. Dia saja mahu kecil hati. Dia saja tahu berasa terluka. Habis, saya ini apa? Batu?

Kalau tak nak, cakap tak nak. Ini kejap nak, kejap tak nak. Apa ni? Umur kamu dah berapa, sayang? Baru si manis 17 ke?

Kamu sudah berzaman makan garam gula halia petai jering semua lah dari saya, apa pasal saya pula kena berlakon jadi lebih matang ni? Apa ni? Apa? Tak adil tahu. Tak adil lansung.

Sudah-sudahlah. Tolong saya. Fahami saya. Sebab saya selalu sangat cuba fahami kamu.

Saya malas nak marah. Tapi kamu macam lebih sangat. Saya benci.Tahu?

Ya, saya juga reti marah, sayang oi.

Oh, happy note! I need you!

2009-12-11T04:19:00.000-08:00

These past few days have done me good. At least, I feel like I did well. Not in terms of my work or things like that, but more in terms of my life in general, watashino jinsei no kotou.

· Today my lecturer has paid me her visit at my firm, well to see my progression there, I would say.She met with my supervisor and me, and we discussed a bit in the meeting room. My supervisor praised me for being a fast learner with a BUT ( NOT BUTT. Haha). She said I am clumsy and easily panick. Haha, fast learner is not what I had in mind, but clumsy, yup I AM. I AM SUPER DAMN CLUMSY. And thank God, it went good, my lecturer and my supervisor both seemed happy and okay. Despite the nerve wrecking moment (I went to the toilet 7 times!) before her arrival, because I was so restless!

· Today for the first time in my legal attachment days, I had nothing to do. REALLY NOTHING! And I was totally bored and just bored. So I wandered around the office, and went into one of the lawyers’ room, to find this book on his desk hidden under a stack of red files (red is for litigation cases). Huh? BILL CLINTON’S MY LIFE? Does not look interesting, does it? But hell, this book is very damn interesting. I could not stop reading it, and later caught up red handed by the owner/lawyer, but he later lent me the book. Haha. But I did not bring it home, afraid I would lose it, haha. DID I TELL YOU I AM CLUMSY?

· Yesterday was much interesting than today! A parcel that I had been waiting has made its grand arrival. It was from my best girls in Malacca. Actually I asked them to post me E-POP Mags ( A MALAY MAGS circulates about J-POP and K-POP, if you were wondering. :P) . But that was not what make me happy, but letters from them made me smile with teary eyes! Just let me quote their encouraging words that truly touched my hard so damn nicely! Their efforts are priceless, and I wonder what I have done good, to have such great friends like them.

“Kak Intan, apa kabo? Awak sehat? Hehe. Tup tap tup tap, tinggal 3 minggu je lagi kan. Hehe, saya kat sini sihat je makin muda. Cepat balik Melaka!!!” Suraya Lee.

“Kami di sini seperti biasa, gembira tapi tak sempurna…sebab Fantastic Four hanya lengkap bila ada 4 orang membernya. “

“Surat ini buat tuan puteri
Intan Ruzzanna Nama diberi
Jangan menangis seorang diri
Kami teguh di belakang saudari”
Iqa Ai

“Cepat2lah balik Melaka, I miss my roommate, I miss your presence, I miss our small talks, I miss gossiping with you, I miss all our routine. Hmmm, so buat attachment elok elok, so nanti awak balik sini awak senang hati ok” Ili Matsumoto

· This weekend is for me to be alone all by myself. I need it. I want to do things I love! I want to start drawing again. I want to do something nice for my blog header. (THE HEADER NOW IS UGLY, ADMIT IT! :P)I want to draw something nice for the girls.Just wait okies dearies! I want to curl up in bed with The Time Traveler’s wife novel and sleep late at night and wake up in the afternoon. I don’t need shopping ( haha, yes I am broke). I just need this for a moment. I will catch up with Tokyo Dogs because Shun Oguri is freaking hot in it.I even want to rewatch Ryusei No Kizuna because this is my most fave Japanese drama for now, because it was gooddddd!! I just want to eat a lot of chocolates. I dont mind on the 'being fat part'. Just think and worry about it later because I just want to be free!

Tokyo Dogs

Ryusei No Kizuna

Ah, I love it!

Love happens when you least expect it

2009-12-09T02:37:00.000-08:00

My mind is wandering somewhere else. Not on the crucial usual matter that is supposed to be thought of.

His smile. His undisturbed attention to his reading. The Last Patriot by Brad Thor, damn great choice of book. The way his hands flickered on his specs each time it fell on his button -like nose. Hehe.

The lingering smell of woody yet masculine perfume. Hugo Boss Soul Perfume, maybe? Hmmm.

The way his maroon backpack holds tightly on his firm shoulders.

The beautiful hands of his each time he flickered the page. The cutest smile when someone gets his attention. Not me of course. I hid behind the racks full of old dusty books, which is just behind him. But somehow, I intentionally passed behind him, just to smile secretly at him. Haha.

Who is he? Who the hell is he?

A guy who reads, makes me feel like a little innocent girl who gushes on a cute boy next door. Ah. My heart beats so damn fast right now. Can I know why we never met before?

And please, please stay still okay? Wait for me for awhile.

Friends, I miss them.

2009-12-05T02:26:00.001-08:00

I am sentimental and always honest about what I feel. I don’t keep it hush nor say it out loud, but I do tell to people that I love, how much I love them. So much.

I am not a people person. Meaning, I have a small scale of good friends and I don’t really like mingling too much with others rather than my best friends and some of my good friends. I don’t know why I am like this but some would say that whenever I am with people than I have yet to really attached, I hardly show my happy or crazy side, and just like to keep myself a bit distant from others.

So that might explain why some people find me boring and moody and quiet and shy. Haha. Where that word shy coming from, since I am not shy at all.

Yes, I would rather stay home and sleep rather than going out and having fun with my new friends, just because I feel it is different to mingle with them. I hardly get their inside jokes and they never get mine. They think I am such a weirdo, and I think they are, hmm different. Just different.

And that makes me miss my best friends back in Malacca more than anything. Oh, I might be the oldest among 4 of us, but I have always be the ultimate cry baby of all. I can cry just for the sake of hearing them doing some great stuff together. And jealous. And sad. Even the thing that they were actually doing was just watching some Korean drama together at home. I miss those moments. That type of regularity. I miss them.

I have 3 other best friends that I have known since almost 5 years ago. They are now having been part of my life. Maybe I am so used to be around them which makes me hard enough to start my legal attachment back in KL. Yes, I have told you. I am an obvious sentimental.

My roommate named Ili has been my roommate a.k.a best friend since well, almost 4 years more less. She is one year younger than me, but I would tell you, she is much matured and tougher than me. She is the coolest one. She loves hot type of guys. She enjoys reading chick flicks. She adores flats. Bags have been her fashion staple since God knows when. She is ultra hip. And yes, I like telling her most of my problems, even the darkest and difficult ones. She is sometimes too laidback, which you don’t know whether she cares or not. She is just like that. But then again, she is one of my besties. Hehe.

Iqa chan on the other hand is totally people person. She is the friendliest among 4 of us. She mixes well with others and people just love her. She is the joke cracker and the fun leader. Hehe. She likes red and somehow gold too. Her type of guys is cute sweet ones. She likes sweet chick flick books. Seems like she is not serious, but hell no. She is one serious lady, and will become protective once you make fuss of her and her beloved ones. She listens to you even though you might talk boring stuff to her. Yes she is a very good listener. That is the special trait of the girl goes by the name of Iqa. She is just one different person.

The other best friend of mine goes by the name of Suraya. Hehe. She is the serious one. She has great leadership skill. She looks and acts matured in front of the crowds, but don’t judge her too fast, because she has another side of her too. The crazy side which few people could get to see it. Her type of guys? I don’t know that much. Buff guys? Not quite. Too damn cute? Not so too. Maybe a little of everything, I guess. Haha. But she loves guys who write well and poetic in the same time. Somehow, I find her quite secretive and mysterious. Hehe. But I would say, she has the most similar traits like me. Haha, what are they? Just for me to keep it quiet. Hahaha.

Among 4 of us, I would say I am the weird one. I do weird stuffs when people find me rather weird. But somehow my besties don’t. Haha. That is why I love them much. They accept me for who I am. And what I am supposed to be. I am moody and emotional. I have a very short span of attention. People find me as too quiet but yes they are obviously wrong. My type of guys? I love gentlemen who have a witty side of him. I like chick flicks too, and sometimes autobiographies. I am easily stressed. I love crying. I love dancing while crying, sometimes. Told ya, I am a weirdo.

Even we are different in many ways, we have a lot more similarities too!

-We enjoy watching movies and eating out/shopping as our spend-time-together past time.

-We love Japanese/Korean stuffs too much, and when we start talking about them, yes we can’t stop!

-We admire Harry Potter just like a total nut! Yes, a NUT!

-We like fashion as much as we like spending on it. But ours are different from one another tho.

- We can argue about guys in fantasy more than in reality. Yes, we argue in a serious way. :P

- We swear by the name of Arashi’s wives! LOL And Ohno Satoshi is shared!

- We love Johnnys as in restaurant as much as we like Johnnys as in Arashi!

-We have 2 bullies and 2 being bullied. Guess which one are the tsukomi!Hehe

-We never mock and downgrade. We know where we stand and we respect it.

-Somehow other people know and familiar with us as a group of 4 cute people. :P

-We are protective of one another.

-We love one another. Haha. Yes, I just said it out loud!

-All of us are size 5/6 (shoes)

- We promise to rock on some old rocking chairs together when we’re old in living in a old folks house (inside joke)

Damn, I just missed you guys. I have had enough with all these stupid mocks made by my new friends here. They find me as a total nut, and I cant do anything, rather than just keep it quiet. Yes, I don’t feel like I belong in here. These new people are very very judgmental. They even tease me on how I eat and the way my chicken is being cut. Gah!

4 more weeks to go!

Things that are wished, and of course money based! (But not the lastttt one)

2009-12-02T03:05:00.000-08:00

I did not have a chance to watch it since I dont have friends to go to watch it and some new friends of mine would rather watch something like Jennifer's body than this movie which of course I dont understand why, and I know it was nice. So, instead, let me have the book. I want it! By hook or by damn crook.

This is my most fave game since I was very much little. I used to play it everyday on my PC and got insomnia because of it! And I know I should have it since games in my DS are pretty lame for me already!Hoho. But the original one costs almost RM200!!! And I dont even have R4 card to download this game for free.(Since my R4 card has broken looonnnggg time ago) And yes, R4 card is also around Rm200. Damn this game!

I want this Arashi 5x10 anniversary tour eco bag, and I dont know how to find it! Gosh, it is their 10th anniversary, I must have this!

I already have one ( Arashi Dream Alive 2008 concert eco bag) which I bought in Japan last year. I almost got a chance to go to Arashi's concert in Nagoya, but pity me I could not go due to clashing schedule. To replace the broken heart, I asked my host sister, Yoshiho-chan to buy this bag for me since she was going to the concert. Haha. But, as clumsy as I could be, it was already dirty a bit because of the stupid chewing gum of mine. *Sigh* (credit pic to the owner)

Victoria Face Pump (Topshop) (Sickening!)

Mouse Lace Flat (Topshop) (Double sickening!)

And yes, this one. I like him since a year ago, but only now I fell in love with him. Haha. Blame IRIS! I know I could not buy him, duh!

Bla bla black sheep.

2009-11-29T04:44:00.000-08:00

Ya, saya tukar header lagi. Sebab sekarang ini otak memang sangat lari dari dasarnya.

I feel so suffocated. Kind of depressed. And start to feel bored.

I need an escapade.

5 minggu lagi macam 5o tahun. Serius. I am tired of being looked down, bullied for no reason and being depressed for nothing.

Entah apa lah motif header di atas. Nak tunjuk kot saya tengah senget dan mereng. I know it is ain't pretty, but take it as one of the phases of my life.

Dah betul otak nanti, I will change back.

Jadi betul. I dont feel my touch anymore. I dont feel me. I need me. I feel like someone else who is forced to things that she hates.

I hate this stage of life. No, dont ask me to be positive or look at the glass as half full. I dont and I wont. I just want to get through this as fast as I can.

Yes. I hate it. I hate it to the maximum. I just hate it.

TOP Oppa! Saranghae yo. Omo Omo Omo

2009-11-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

Since I knew Big Bang (infamous Korean hip hop band) last year, I was instantly hooked by the smexy rapper, T.O.P or his real name, Choi Seung Hyun. And I am still hooked by his sparkling charm, beautiful killer eyes, high cheek bone, manly voice, weird-in-a-good-way fashion sense and his wonderful acting.

I never liked bad guys in movies/dramas, but since I watch IRIS, I cant just stop loving all things about TOP as the bad guy/assassin in the drama. Damn, I need chocolate now. :P

(T.O.P in IRIS)

(T.O.P in BIG BANG)

I love Big Bang's Japanese Album, Gara Gara Go. Damn addicted to it. My most faves in the album are Stay, Bringing your love, Top of the World and of course, Gara Gara Go!

Spare me a large amount of air!

p/s: I listen and watch too many Korean stuffs lately, which makes me guilty over my so called Japan obsession. But what can I do, they do have some really excellent stuffs nowadays. And no worries, Japanese beautiful stuffs are still in first place in my little heart. :P

Ok, so I suddenly think of you. But not that long.

2009-11-23T05:13:00.000-08:00

Hey, I saw someone like you, very much like you at the court today. My heart skipped a beat because of it. And I giggled hard, like a little girl gushing over her next door crush. But of course it was not you, it was someone who has the same smile and giggle like you.

It has been awhile right? For me to really think of you, leave alone miss. I do wonder, whether I have moved on already? Or maybe I am just plain busy of my sort of new life. After this one year full of grieving and missing and crying over someone which was you. It was not easy, really. But I do feel amazed to see where I am now, as I don’t feel much of anything towards you anymore. Koi no koto ga, mo yameru ka na.

I can actually laugh now, you know. Laugh at how many liter of tears have fallen because of you all this while. I was half crazy. I was half blinded, nope, fully blinded. But now, hmm, nothing. Yes, maybe I have moved on.

Being unilateral is hurtful, but I don’t mind. I am used to this.I feel like expertise in this field as I have always encountered this. One sided love, unrequited love, stupid fling, whatever names you want to call it. I live by it. Always, one sided unrequited love. I waited and believed that one day you would suddenly see but now, I don’t even dare to hope anything from you. No, it was not because I have given up on you, as that was the hardest part of all. I have moved on. And that was it. Move on, with a really BIG STEP.

Maybe I am unlucky in this department. How to be lucky, if someone is not seeing you just the way you see him with your little innocent heart? It scares me to just think about it, about love to be exact. See, my hands shiver hard for it. I do feel exhausted. I feel like drained. I become difficult when it comes to this. But, I dont even feel like giving up on it just yet. Not now.

Oh, don’t get me wrong here. I am not sad. Really. I just wonder of why it is hard for me, and not to others. Was I too choosy all this while, or just plain boring? Or weird? Or smelly? Or too shy? Or ugly? Or fugly? Or stupid? Or too much of everything? Or just plain LAME. Haha, I dont mind for being lame. Maybe that is why. I guess.

Haha, see. That is why I hate to even think about it. It makes me go crazy here. I could even start imagining stupid things, hallucinating over crazy dreams and wishes.

Well, Romeo Romeo, Anatawa, ima doko iru no?

Maybe I should marry Ninomiya Kazunari ASAP! Nino-chan, kekkon shimasho!

Random bits. From a random girl.

2009-11-21T08:33:00.000-08:00

I have cut my hair to be like this. Pixie cut. Boy cut. Shortie short. You name it. And I like it! Daisuki desu yo!

The hair stylist that cut my hair told me that I have a healthy hair, but unfortunately not very healthy scalp, as my scalp is very sensitive. Senang nak dandruff banyak gila and merah menyala bagai naga membakar kepala. Haha. *Sigh* I do have really sensitive skin from up to toe. And now I am trying this lotion to soothe the irritated sensitive scalp of mine. :P

Wella SP Sensitive Lotion for Sensitive Scalp

Last week, I have got a chance to talk with a Japanese client in Japanese language. But of course in broken Japanese, duh! Hehe, but still, I was given two thumbs up from my boss because of that. My boss even asked me to teach him some basic Japanese words so he could deal with his Japanese clients much easier. It did make me happy, since I was not truly enjoying much with my attachment. I know I should be open to challenges, but this is not the type of challenges that I want to face, if you wanted to know.

I dont like make ups since I hate to take it off, the process is just ugh. Hehe, that is why my only beauty staples are lipbalm and eyeliner. My most fave lipbalm? Nivea Lip Care in Red. It adds natural color to your lips and of course protects your lips from dryness too. I always forgot to wear lipbalm before, but since I bought this one, I am being such a loyal fan. :P Macam iklan jual produk ubat kuat lak.

I love skinny jeans. I dont know why but I always find myself feeling confident wearing it rather than any other types like boot cut, or simply slim fit. I dont have skinny legs to start with, but I dont seem to mind at all, since I feel good in it. My type of jeans that I would see wearing for a loooonnnngggg time is always this, skinny jeans dear. :) My fave now? Zara Denim Leggings. I am even thinking to buy 3 of them in different colors.:P But I always think Topshop, Levis, Twenty8Twelve and Alexander McQueen have best choices when it comes to skinny jeans.

Zara Black Skinny

Talking about of fashion that I like, I would just say that I love colors. I adore them. I dont mind being seen wearing neon colors if I feel good in it. But I do love pastels too. Pastels make me think of cotton candies. I never wear simply black and white, except if I needed to go to court of course. Haha. But it does not mean black and white theme is boring, it is in fact look elegant with the right choice and body of course.Black and white is smexy!!!!!When it comes to fashion guru, I dont have any particulars, but I have always loved Zooey Deschanel's sense of style since she is just following her guts rather than follow the trend. And she is super duper cute.

Haha, this is a super random post which I dont have any points at all. Like this one. A poster ad of 4 Japanese actors that are of course famous in Japan, and two of them are my most faves. Guess which one? :P Shun Oguri and Tsumabuki Satoshi. The guy in front and the guy at the back. And the other two guys are (Left) Haruma Miura and (Right) Eita.

This new ad of perfume attracts me like crazy. Keeps me thinking 24/7. Haha, Just because I love the Supermodel in it, Agyness Deyn. I love her eccentric style and the way she brings herself. She is super hot in my eyes.And not to forget on the smell of the perfume. "Wild fruity floral!" Hmmm..... :)

Haha, super random is it? Well, I love being random. It is nice sometimes. Next topic, hmmm......boybands? :P

An, an, an. Totemo Daisuki. Doraemon/

2009-11-20T02:32:00.000-08:00

I was hurt. And I am still. Kokoro ga, itai desu yo. Honki de.

Menjadi satu bahan uji kaji manusia lain ialah satu perkara yang menyesakkan fikiran. Bahan gelak. Bahan tawa. Bahan menyedapkan hati. Bahan lah.

I am not stupid. Baka janai yo.

Hanya kerana memiliki suara sehalus anime Doraemon, tidak bermakna yang saya boleh dipijak-pijak dan digelek-gelek dengan stroler.

Why do you question my voice? Nande, koe no koto ga, shitsumon arimasu yo? Sizuka poi? Nandatte?

So what, if I do have quite a small but somehow high pitched voice?

Mondai arimasuka? Watashino koe no koto.

Kalau nak samakan saya dengan watak cerita kartun yang kamu kamu semua tengok tu, tak payahlah, dah basi. Saya dah dengar komen macam ni sejak saya kenal dunia lagi. What can I do if Allah has created my voice to be this soft?

"Hm, camne nak jadi lawyer kalau suara ko macam kartun doremon ni ha. Doremon tu sepupu ko eh?"

I was even being screamed at the court just because of my voice. What the hell is wrong with that?

I am positive. I dont even question why my voice is like this. But I hate it when you tease my voice, when I just dont give a damn. Rimas sangat ok tahu tak. Kalau tanya kenapa suara saya macam ni, how should I answer that? Oh, Doremon turunkan kurniaan magikalnya pada saya ni. Kamu nak jawapan bodoh sebegitu kah untuk orang sepandai kamu?

And the most yang tak tahan sekali ialah bila kamu kata, apa pasal suara kamu tu gedik sangat, cant you talk any more serious?

Suara saya gedik? In what kind of way? I have never ever ever ever intended my voice to be this way. Why why why why why?

Arianaitsu no.

Susahlah manusia judgmental dan banyak sangat nak persoal tentang manusia-manusia lain. Saya dah semu dan jemu. Hal kamu hal kamu. Kamu nak kulit merah ke kuning ke biru ke, hal kamu, dan saya takkan tanya. Dan jangan tanya saya juga. Never question about others physically. Macam kamu persoal ciptaan Tuhan.

I am pissed long enough. Since God knows hell when.

I used to question things like that, macam eh akak tu suara cerik la. Haha, dahla suara cerik muka sombong gila. But as age comes along, I suddenly think that it is not her intention to have such voice. Tuhan ciptakan manusia berbeza-beza namun setiap satunya ada keistimewaan dan kekurangan masing-masing.

Muka bulat salah. Badan gemuk salah. Kaki kecik salah. Kaki besar salah. Tangan lidi salah. Tak ada pusat salah. Ada pusat salah juga. Gelap salah. Putih pun salah. Tangan berlipat-lipat sejuta salah. Apa yang betulnya dalam dunia ni?

Nobody is damn perfect.

So what if people dont take me serious enough for my kid voice. They are immature themselves.

For now. No regrets. Just curious over their own stupid questions.

p/s: Dont you know, many Japanese girls have softer voice than me, much much softer. So go question them!

SERABUT

2009-11-18T07:28:00.000-08:00

Rasa mahu berceloteh dan membuang hal-hal keruh dalam otak.

Sebenar-benarnya, hidup tatkala ini memang dalam penuh keserabutan. Kerja yang di 'loathe'. Family matters. Money matters. Love matters (haha, tak ada pun pasal ni, so tolak tepi) dan diri sendiri punya matters. Friends matters? Tak ada, sebab mereka hanya menyejukkan jiwa saja. ;)

Malas nak fikir banyak sangat. Kalau fikir, memang akan rasa mahu menangis dan duduk bersedih saja. Buat apa nak buang air mata macam tu, lebih baik cuma diam dan lupakan seketika.

Sekarang memang minda tak nak fikir banyak-banyak. Susah. Nak jaga setiap penjuru perasaan manusia lain lagi, sangat menyusahkan. Kalau mereka tak gembira, tak boleh. Kena gembira. Kita tak gembira, tak apa pula pada mereka.

Kadang-kadang rasa macam in denial. Totally. Absolute denial. Macam dalam sebuah rumah banyak tingkap, tapi satu tingkap pun tak buka, dan tutup ketat padahal nak bagi sang mentari masuk menerangi rumah kan.

Sebab takut sangat. Takut kalah pada situasi. Nanti jadi sangat blank dan kosong. Dan ketika ini saat paling genting sebab semua perkara kena ada Intan, kalau tak ada Intan, tak ada perkara tersebut.

Haha. Gila. Ya memang.

Selalu berdoa hidup ini jalannya tiada lubang dan bengkak bengkoknya tak banyak sangat. Tapi Tuhan itu Maha Mengingatkan. Takkan selamanya mahu ikut highway tak ada tol tengah jalan. Jadi, nak merungut banyak sangat pun tak elok. Everything does happen for a certain reason, kan.

Sabar.

Sabar.

Sabar.

My spirit has wearing really thin. For everything. Tapi saya masih ada lagi cas positif bernyawa kelip kelip ni ha. Jadi, hidup masih perlu dan harus diteruskan dengan penuh rasa gemuruh jiwa semangat membara ok sila sambung sendiri lagu Faizal Tahir.

Hehe.

In-chan, jangan jadi itik. Jadilah sang Angsa. Dahlah cun, boleh terbang tinggi pulak tu.

Joon Sae Oppa. Daisuki desu yo.

2009-11-14T23:09:00.000-08:00

Shining Inheritance/Brilliant Legacy

It is my current cup of tea. It has been quite a long time for not being attached to Korean dramas. Not that I loathe it or something, it is just because I am picky and I have no patience to sit and go through their long run episodes without losing my interest. And that is why, I rarely watched Korean dramas, and stick with Japanese as it will always be 10/11 episodes each time.

But I do enjoy Korean scenes once in awhile. Like this new drama I have been watching these past few days.

My roommate watched this last semester I think, and she was hooked up instantly. Basically, I am a late bloomer for everything. Hehe, so after feeling so bored and need a new thing in mind, I watch Shining Inheritance, and I feel it. Seriously. Tenkiu, Ili.

The storyline is somehow the same with the theme nowadays, a smug egoistic rich guy falling for a kind hearted girl. But of course, with a twist! The heroine, Eun Sung was actually a rich girl but her dad went brankrupt and faked his death so his family would get the insurance money.

However, she was kicked out from the house by her stepmom without knowing that her father is actually alive. With a handsome kindhearted 2nd hero in the line between her and the hero, it should be much interesting. Right?

I dont know the storyline enough, as I just watching the 7th episode but I am surely not going to butt out like I did with several unfinished Korean/Japanese dramas, and watch it religously until the end. Hehe.

And guess which hero attracts me?

Bae Soo Bin

Tada! The 2nd one which plays a kind hearted oppa named Joon Sae. He is super kind and nice which I like about him. Reminds me of Hanazawa Rui that was played by Oguri Shun in Hana Yori Dango/Boys over Flower(Japanese version).

Well, there goes my weekends. ;)

SUMANAI YO!

2009-11-13T23:54:00.000-08:00

Life is not at ease, at the moment. Clearly, I just hate what I am going through every single day. It is ;I am not ready to just commit to much difficult responsibility or I am just plain negative, either way just make me feel so jilted.

But giving up is not the option either. I am no LOSER. I know what I am supposed to do even it is torturous to go through it every single day. Yes, I maybe exaggerate but that is what my freaking heart feels.

But ‘working life’ is not all bitter like duh. Sometimes, I do feel pumped up and ready for anything, like a super energized human machine but that rarely happens. Like only occurs, once a week? So guess what happens in other 4 working days? LOL.

I know I am supposed to be lucky since the firm I am attached to have a lot to offer in teaching me and all, I learn new things every single day. From drafting, communicating, presenting, understanding, getting, writing, reading, living, you name it.

But what happens when someone has a lot to offer to you, and you just cant take it per se, and need a lot of time to gulp it one by one.

My blog has become somewhat boring too. I talk a lot about working, as I just don’t have any other things that line up to be done. NADA. Nanimo arimasen!
Sumanai yo!

So, WEEKENDS have become my truly escapade. My one and only source of happiness. I spend most of times at home, doing things I love doing it alone ; watching my fave Japanese and Korean dramas online, blogging, reading books, and playing my Nintendo. If only I have cats to play with. Hmm.

Yes, it is all boring stuffs to you, but these are just my only world that can shift my mind to somewhere else. Heh.

Oh kay, I wont say anything about working anymore after this. Lets talk fun. And LOVE. Even I dont have any right now.;)

I cry one litre of tears.

2009-11-12T00:20:00.001-08:00

I cried. And amazed on how LOVE could do this to you.

But love the song. Depressing yet sweet.

p/s: It is sung by one of the greatest band in Korea ( already disbanded) Loveholic. My roommate loves them much. :)

I want to become a flowerpot

I pray all the time

I want to become a flowerpot

That stands on his small window sill

Even if I won't be able to say a wordor expect anything

Loveholic- Flower Pot.

Random cry.

2009-11-10T03:02:00.000-08:00

Hari ini dalam sejarah.

I had my first cry in the office. My mistake, and got scolded kaw-kaw by my supervisor. And there my tears flown. Haha. Dan depan dia pula kan. Last-last, my supervisor yang calmed me down. Ok, I am a cry baby. Sorry for that.

" Saya bukan nak marah awak sangat, but just to keep you aware. And besides, lawyer kan kena strong, mana boleh nangis"

Heh. Siapa kata lawyer tak boleh nangis. Haha, I cried for being so stressed. Dont blame me.

" Akak tahu awak just attachment, so still learning, chambering pun belum kan. So akak tak lah expect perfect 10 from you, cuma akak nak awak kena tindak cepat dalam hal submit perintah to the clients and all, sebab benda ni lah paling penting. Clients kena dijaga"

And today, I was called by my big boss to a very controversial one-to-one meeting. Well, basically regarding some so called 'office politics' that surround this firm. Saya sah sah tak terlibat ok. I am still new, and my boss cuma nak tahu my part as a third party, pemerhati luar kepada pergelutan panas dalam ofis yang sejuk.

And there I go, cakap saja lah apa yang terbuku di jiwa.Hehe.

Wah, baru sebulan, belum setahun. Thank God, its only 3months thing here.

Well, last Saturday I went to Malacca to visit my girls over there, sebab of course I was like missing them like super hell here.

It was great. I felt damn happy and glad I did go there. We went to watch Pisau Cukur and shop also. Haha. And now, I start to miss them again. Nasib baik tak ada boyfriend kat Jepun. Kalau tak, jenuh nak pergi Jepun setiap kali rindu. Ceh.

Anyways.

I want to share with you loveys out there, songs that are playing in my mp3. Hehe. Yes, now Korean waves all over again, basically.

Rain- Love Story (English, japanese, korean versions) I love all versions!

Loveholic- Flower Port (nice soothing voice and tune)

Kesha-Tik tok

Florence & The Machine- Drumming Song

Big Bang Japanese Album ( Love all songs to the max)

Super Junior-It is you

GD & Park Bom- Hello

Jordin Sparks- Battlefield

Muse- Unintended

Emmy the Great- Gabriel

Britney Spears- 3

Peterpan- Di Belakangku

Peterpan- Ku Katakan dengan Indah

Peterpan- Semua Tentang Kita

Cry girl. :P

I want to be a fairy. Yes, a legal fairy.

2009-11-05T04:54:00.000-08:00

Memang minggu yang sangat dreadful, tenaga disedut bagai hampagas menyedut lipas, dan stress level masih berada di tahap yang sama, masih linien.

Dan minggu ini, buat pertama kali, my supervisor screamed at me, loud and clear. It was all because of one small mistake of mine. Terkedu hidup sebentar. Boleh juga nak terkencing kalau tak cukup kekuatan sanubari dan jiwa. I could not even reason out my mistake. And that was it, the baddest day of attachment life.

"Saya stress sikit boss"adu saya pada bos suatu hari yang indah

"Aik, we all ada tortured you ke sampai u stressed out ni?"

" Tak la, just because of working. Sebab saya ni secara honest not a very particular person, and now I just need to be very particular, so somehow jadi a bit stressed"

"Its good to be stressed you know, sebab then you know your work is rather important kan. But you did just fine. Good for now"

Haha, tak tahu kenapa kalau dengan bos, senang nak direct to the point. Kalau stress, ku bilang stress. He understands, I think.

" Awak ni betul nak jadi lawyer ke? Or just because of your parents. Yelah, saya dapat rasa awak ni anak ayah ni, dengar je ayah kata apa kan?" tanya bos along the conversation. I am smiling all the way.

" Hm, honestly it is an advised course by my parents. Sebab asal-asal saya nak jadi journalist"

" It is ok. You still can be one along the way kan. Nanti you pandailah cari masa depan. For now I memang nak ajar you macam-macam, for now, belajar dari Nina( nama diubah) macam mana nak baca files conveyancing tu, cari kenapa still pending semua."

And to tell you the truth, conveyancing is my least fave part. Gila complicated dan semuanya pasal agreements, documentation, banks, tanah, yada yada yada.

Kalau litigation dalam jenayah dan sivil, sangat menarik. You have got a chance to go to court, and learn the procedures and all. Hari tu pergi High Court di Jalan Duta, pergh tengok lawyer kacak sorang sorang pakai full black suit, macam nak pergi kahwin. Hehe. Ya, saya suka lihat lelaki kemas bergaya hensem wangi berbaju kemas dan hensem. Ok, ada dua kali bubuh hensem sudah.

But being in court is seriously different and eye opening. Dan High Court is very very beautiful inside out. Haha, tak pergi lagi Mahkamah Persekutuan di Putrajaya, pergh wa cakap lu. Senibina terulung. Haha.

(Ehem, dulu pernah pergi ikut lawatan ke Mahkamah Persekutuan. Haha, semangat!)

Bila dapat mencuri lihat sedikit sebanyak dunia guaman ini, memang buat hati dan otak saling bertelingkah sesama sendiri. Sebab secara jujurnya, kesabaran itu satu faktor paling utama sekali kalau nak jadi lawyer. Tunggu mention date dari court, kena tunggu giliran open kes di court, nak jumpa client yang kadang-kadang menyirap juga darah sekali sekala, kena marah dengan majistret,pergi hearing, yada yada yada.

And somehow, I lack of what people call as patience. Paling pantang dan tak suka kalau bos/supervisor minta tolong telefon court, sebab tak tahu kenapa, susah sangat nak deal dengan mereka ini semua. Saling pass pass telefon, tak tahu ini itu, kena marah dan suruh datang check sendiri, oh susah juga.

Kena marah dengan staf mahkamah, macam menjadi kudapan mingguan. Salah sendiri juga, sebab kadang-kadang tak explain in detailed, dah lah blur pula tu, kadang-kadang tak tahu nak tanya apa. Mereka baik dan sabar, tapi ada juga sesat yang kaki marah macam tak makan seminggu. Ya, saya kena lah sabar juga.

Tapi tak delah semuanya tak elok pun. Kalau ada minat dan iltizam, jangankan lawyer, jadi Ketua Hakim Negara pun boleh. It is all depend on you. Kan?

Hehe.

For now, saya nak jadi isteri kepada Ninomiya Kazunari. Tu saje.

Note to myself. For better.

2009-11-01T21:04:00.000-08:00

-The highlight of this week task is probably, come up with a 'Statement of Defence' for a 'Breach of Contract' case, and I dont know how I am going to make it, but I know I just have to. Lagi pula, my boss is eager to teach me corporate law and how to understand their agreements and all, and it surely chills me to the bone. Haha. I am happy to see a very eager boss, but somehow I am afraid I will not come up to their standard. But, I am all for learning, kan?

- This is the forth week of my legal attachment, so kena siapkan my logbook untuk dihantar pada internal supervisor a.k.a my MMU lecturer yang supervises me lah. I need to do it ASAP sebab I have a great event coming up later on the weekend which is;

- Saya nak ke Melaka la this weekend. Sebab saya rasa sangat sangat stressful, and need a getaway, and what far better than go to your best friends, even mereka jauh berbatu-batu. Hehe. Yes, saya nak jumpa my ultimate girls back in Malacca, even for a short while.

-Tak tahu apa yang tak kena atau ada new alergy came up, but there are rashes behind my legs and spreaded macam semut merebak ke arah gula. Dan sangat gatal, dan annoying, dan pedih, dan somehow it causes breakouts on my face too. I think maybe due to unhealthy eating lah these past few weeks. Lacks of good protein and a lot of sugar surely doing bad for your skin.

Ya, saya kena berbuat sesuatu sekarang ini.

-Which leads to a proper healthy meal everyday. And haruslah kena reduce stress.Hehe.

- And I need to cut my hair. Long enough to make me suffocated. Haha. Since I am wearing tudung most all day, and I am quite busy now, short hair surely makes my life simpler. Haha. And I just love Michelle Williams' pixie hair cut. Duh, she is one cutesy.

-And yes, I have started improving my Japanese vocabs back. Haha, I know I have to start sooner or suffer later. Nihon go no koto, joudan ja nai yo. Nihon ni ikitai, dakara.!

-Sekarang disiplin paling penting setiap pagi. Exercise for half an hour. Because I dont want to get tired for the rest of hectic day.

-Dan saya kena sentiasa relakan hati untuk cope with stress. Sebab, there is no other way. I just need to be happy eventhough to tell you the truth, I would rather spending time studying for exams than working. The stress level is different.

Tengah sangat negatif, jadi mari fikirkan benda seronokkan jiwa.

2009-10-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

-Coklat. Putih macadamia. Ataupun honey comb. Ataupun dengan limpahan karamel yang banyak. Dan banyak kacang dan cair bila dimakan!

-Masuk KLCC. Macam rumah sendiri. Boleh tidur dan berkhemah sekali. Kalau kahwin di KLCC pun no hal.

-Kucing. Serius bagus untuk elakkan masuk Rumah Sakit Jiwa. Penawar duka dan penghibur lara. Ya, tak tipu. Miao.

-Lelaki tak merokok. Walaupun dia sebenarnya merokok, tapi jenis tak merokok depan perempuan. Ya, boleh rasa lega.Sebab boleh kira macam dia respect orang lah juga.

-When the boss said "Good Job Intan", hati saya senyum simpul.Mahu berusaha lebih tekun

-Aquarium penuh dengan ikan warna warni. Yang dijaga bersih dan hiasan yang cantik.Kalau nak ajak dating, bawa saya ke Aquaria KLCC. Tak pun Sea Paradise, Tokyo. Lalu saya kahwin dengan awak.

-Penguin. Tengok mereka dalam National Geography selalu, ah mereka sangat menyenangkan. Buncit. Terkedek kedek. Rajin cari ikan.

-Bila hujan lebat, dan tiada kerja nak dilakukan. Maka tidur diselubung selimut tebal dan bunyi hujan sayup kedengaran. Shhhh.

-My girl friends. Sehari tak fikirkan mereka, buat jiwa suram. Mereka eternity saya. Future saya insyaAllah masih ada mereka. Kerana mereka, hati saya juga senyum mudah

-Bau perfume bright crystal Versace. Bau perfume paling saya suka . Sanggup tukar dengan mama deminya. Bau macam pari-pari merah jambu yang baru jumpa cinta hati. Hahaha.

-Bila kaki mencecah ombak pantai. Dan deruan angin menghembus sepoi-sepoi bahasa.

-Bila movie kegemaran ditayangkan di TV. Mudah untuk happy dalam diam. Macam semalam, bila 13 going 30 tunjuk di Star Movies, saya melompat tanda setuju dan hip hip horray.

-Jumpa kawan lama. Dan mereka kata, "Intan, you have not changed!". Haha. Walaupun sudah ada kedut di bahagian mata.

-Ais krim coklat mint dengan limpahan coklat cair.Pergh!

-Kelas Sebelas. Sebab mereka gila, dan saya pun gila sebab mereka.

-Breakfast di hotel. Bukan dinner ataupun lunch ataupun hi-tea. Bukan. Hanya breakfast. Entah kenapa. Kalau menginap di hotel, paling excited tunggu breakfast. Lepas itu hari pasti lebih indah dan ceria.

-Taman Permainan. Yang ada banyak buaian. Buai paling laju. Lepas tu lompat paling jauh dari buaian. Luka pun tak apa. Gila lopek tak luka main kat taman permainan.

-Mengayuh Basikal. Laju-laju turun bukit. Lepas tangan. Ah!

-Harry Potter. Buku yang ke-4 dan ke-7 terutamanya.

-Harry Potter. Movie yang ke-4, Triwizard Tournament. Sangat suka. Tak pernah bosan. kalau tayang berjuta kali pun masih boleh lekat di depan tibi.

-Kasut roda. Nostalgik.

-Bangun pagi tanpa rasa ngantuk. Excellent.

-Majlis akad nikah. Sesiapa sahaja. Menjadi sebahagian saksi masjid baru didirikan.

-Senyum manis. Sesiapa saja. Bahkan yang tak ada gigi.

-Zooey Deschanel. Dia super duper cute.

-Beli putu mayam Anney jual petang-petang lalu makan tepi padang.

-Zaman Kanak-kanak.

-Zaman sekolah menengah. Form 2-5 terutamanya.

-Bila boss dan lawyers lain tensen buat kerja, main tembak-tembak dalam opis.

-Bila boss pasang lagu Las Kechup kuat kuat dalam opis. Selalunya hari Jumat time weng weng dia.

-Hari Jumaat bila esok tak payah kerja.

Yay!

Sighing ( Real loud!)

2009-10-29T02:42:00.000-07:00

There are at times when I wish I could just take my breath, and breathe slowly without feeling pushed and forced for no particular reason.

I can feel I am suck at what I am doing now, say good luck to my future employer then. It is exhausting even though it gives you this kind of weird exhilaration at times. Like, super cool for doing hard tasks, but in the end, you just want to lay on your super comfy bed, and sleep. Sleep all you want. I hate 9 to 5 which in my case 8 to 6, except no need to work on Saturday like few of my friends that are attached to other firms need to. But still. Damn, it sucks my energy real lot for a day.

All I need is just to breathe, and breathe real slow. And a lil bit of positivism.And a large amount of CHOCOLATE!

9 more weeks to go.

Listening to : Zooey Deschanel- Uh uh ( a song that I can laugh hard on.)

Oh, Gabriel.

2009-10-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

Satu persatu abjad Roman disusun kemas-kemas membentuk pintalan ayat bercelaru dalam kotak minda, namun bila cuba meleraikan pintalannya, mereka menjadi sungguh degil, serta-merta mereka menyorok dan berdoa tidak dijumpai.

Apa pula mahu diomong kosongkan disini, aku sudah macam tidak tahu.

Terasa mahu gelakkan diri sendiri kerana sering saja dimainkan si hati sendiri. Pagi, si hati riang ria peddle pop, petang si hati mahu memberontak gaya rusuhan Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman, malam pula si hati jadi sappy minta dipujuk.

Ah, emosi si gadis. Apa kamu tahu.

Sambil mendengar alunan suara comel Emmy The Great dengan lagu Gabriel-nya, aku seolah-olah terfikir apa sudah jadi dengan aku punya Gabriel pula?

Aku ada Gabriel jugakah, mahu berfikir sedemikian?

Haha, aku sudah tidak ada Gabriel untuk dimarah dan dikecewakan. Oh tidak.

Ya, aku bosan sangat ini. Kerja tiada. Aku bosan sampai mahu pengsan ini. Kalau tak ada kerja, aku mahu balik tidur dan cari Gabriel dalam mimpi. Si Gabriel itu aku tahu sibuk makan lollipop pelangi hatinya. Hah.

Salahkan kebosanan ini untuk monolog tiada isi ini ya.

Oh, elaun sudah masuk.

Ayat paling penting antara semua ayat-ayat di sini. ;D

Heh, Cardigan ala vintaj warna firus Topshop itu, aku mahu. Sampai termimpi-mimpi lihat Gabriel bawa aku pergi beli.

Gila seorang Intan. Bermula. Sekarang!

500 days of Intan. Hahaha

2009-10-23T04:43:00.000-07:00

This morning was definitely tormenting.

I was assigned to check and read the new case that my bos handles. Meaning, she takes conduct of the case that has been handed over by the previous lawyer from other firm.

Meaning, I had to go to the High Court to actually go through a very tiring procedure to check on such file that is kept by the Court. Kejap kejap ke kaunter bayaran mahkamah, kejap kejap ke kaunter semakan kes, ugh.

And dealing it with such rude staff is just making my day a bit worse.

Saya tak kisah jika kamu mahu menegur saya atas kekurangan dan kelalaian saya tentang suatu perkara. Benar. Saya tak akan kisah. Malah saya mampu terima dengan senyum paling manis, jika dan hanya jika kamu benar-benar ikhlas menegur dan diiringi dengan bahasa yang betul. Bukan tanpa adab.

Jelingan kamu dan teguran panas kamu buat saya rasa kakitangan kerajaan memang mudah PMS dan kurang bahasa manis. Maaflah, ini kebenaran. Saya bukan kata semua, tapi kebanyakkan. Saya tidak bernada pilih kasih. Ayah saya juga seorang kakitangan kerajaan. Mak saya pun, bekas kakitangan kerajaan, sebab tempat mak saya bekerja sekarang sudah diswastakan.

But truly akak, you just could say it with a smile, not with your sharp look. Kalau suara saya perlahan, katalah " Dik, cakap kuat sikit boleh, akak tak dengar". Ini tak, kamu menjerit ke muka saya dengan " Kamu ingat telinga akak ni besar ke, cakap kuat sikit!". Amboi, bahasa. Penuh yakin tu.

Pagi yang panas. Memang rosak mood Jumaat yang hening. Lalu, selesai tugas saya cuba nak menceriakan hati sedih dengan pergi makan di KLCC. Seorang saja donk.Tanpa Nobita. Mahupun Doralin. Apatah lagi Sinyu.

Dulu saya selalu risau kalau ada tugasan kena pergi court sebab saya tiada transport balik melainkan teksi yang mahal menjerut tekak tak boleh nak nafas. Kini tidak lagi, dengan adanya VAN MAHKAMAH.Haha, saya tak perasan pun ada perkhidmatan van mahkamah ke Masjid Jamek dan KL Central dengan bayaran hanya RM2 dari Jalan Duta. Menarik sungguh. Banyak juga lawyer-lawyer guna perkhidmatan van ni.

Di KLCC, selesai lunch dengan spaghetti bolognese dan iced mocha, saya tak terus balik ke ofis. Saya jalan jalan KLCC dulu. Usha Topshop (kardigan cun cun belaka baru nak wujud time in-chan takde duit, cait!). Zara pun sama. Mengada semua!Lalu kecewa,Saya pergi tonton wayang. Seorang. Haha. Cerita apa?

Cerita impian saya. Yang saya nak tengok sangat ni ha.

500 days of Summer

*All pictures are credited to its rightful owner*

A very very nice story. I love it from the start until its end. And to watch my fave actress (Zooey Deschanel) playing such a unique character on screen, makes my day. Dan secara rasminya, Joseph Gordon Levitt kini menjadi salah satu penyeri list pelakon kegemaran saya. Attention untuk Ili-chan, Iqa-chan dan Sue-chan mana tahu in the future lepas korang tengok cerita ni kamu pun terpikat sama. Hahahaha. He is just too good. And cute. And boyish. And funny. And romantic. And sweet. And nice. And has small smiling eyes. Yes, kriteria penting tuh. Hahaha.

You should go watch it guys.

Habis cerita, balik sambung kerja di opis. Taip surat untuk mahkamah yang dipangkah bos berkali-kali sebab ada saja benda tak betul. Haih. Baru 2 minggu nih. Sudah mahu bersara kah In-chan. Haha.

Kalau aku punyai sayap!

2009-10-21T03:38:00.000-07:00

Banyaknya perkara mahu dilakukan sebelum usia menginjak 30. Berjuta-juta. Rasa mahu lakukan semua. Rasa mahu rebut semua peluang yang ada. Rasa mahu rasa semuanya. Ya, saya tamakkan semua perkara.Hah!

Salah satunya. Menjelajah ke negara asing. Ya, ya kamu mesti mahu membebel tentang kenapa mahu ke negara orang lain, sedangkan negara sendiri tidak dijelajah habis-habisan lagi. Jawapannya, saya sukakan perasaan berada di negara lain, masa lain, musim lain, persekitaran lain, dimana saat itu perasaan homesick dan mahu pulang ke Malaysia akan mula ada, dan memang, entahlah satu perasaan yang luar biasa. Sangat.

Ketika saya ikut homestay ke Jepun tahun lepas, saya ada berkenalan dengan seorang gadis sebaya. Si gadis Jepun berkulit putih lepak yang diberi nama Risa Arashima, yang mempunyai wajah seiras pelakon terkenal yang pernah muncul dalam Kill Bill 2, Chiaki Kuriyama ini seorang yang sangat peramah dan kool.

Risa-chan cantik dan penuh bersemangat! Dan dia punya banyak cita-citanya yang buat saya kagum.

Usia 21, dia sudah ke Australia seorang diri merantau mencari kerja, hanya untuk merasa pengalaman berkerja di luar negara, dan disamping mengasah bahasa Inggerisnya. Ya, dia ke sana dengan bahasa Inggeris yang sungguh limited, dan kini siap ada slang Aussie ok. Betul lah kalau orang kata, dalam bab improvasi komunikasi dalam bahasa asing, kita kena banyak berlatih cakap, kalau tulis saja memang tak lepas la. Macam bahasa Jepun saya, pergi ke Jepun, hambik ko terkial-kial mencari perkataan.

But it helps. Very challenging. And I love challenges. Buat kita rasa semangat dan tidak mahu mengalah dengan keadaan.

Ok, sambung balik cerita Risa-chan.

Dia ke sana menjadi seorang waitress selama setahun di restoran famili namun tiba-tiba dia menghidap sejenis penyakit berkaitan lehernya. Saya tak pasti apa, tapi sakitnya itu menyebabkan Risa-chan terpaksa pulang ke Jepun. Masa saya berjumpanya, dia baru saja pulang dari sana, dan memang sedang sakit bahagian leher. Mungkin otot. Saya pun tak pasti.

Namun sikap ingin tahu dan adventurnya tak pernah padam, selepas itu dia menyimpan duit untuk berjalan-jalan di US pula. Oh, she is adventure seeking girl. Saya juga berkenalan dengan rakan baiknya Kaori Takahashi yang kini sedang belajar Bahasa Inggeris di US. Sambil berkerja.

Kaori yang sebelah kiri saya tu. Very quiet but she speaks excellent english. Padahal baru beberapa bulan ke US.

I wish I could be just like them. Tidak takut menghadapi dunia baru, pengalaman asing namun penuh cita rasa baru. It feels like you are born to be a different person in a very new country. Hehe. Satu benda boleh disimpan dan dijadikan pedoman untuk masa depan. Tak juga boleh diceritakan untuk anak cucu kelak.Haha

I cant stop thinking about traveling. One day I want to take my own chance. My first step has already be taken, which is Japan. Next? Haha, I am not so sure. I want to go to Japan again, sebab last year was not enough for me.

Itali. Norway. Scotland. New Zealand. South Africa. England. South Korea. Semua Ah.

Saya mahu merasa pergi Umrah juga. Lebih indah jika dapat ke sana dengan famili kan.

Saya mahu lakukannya, dan akan berusaha keras untuk mendapatkannya. There is no way of saying money is the problem. Sebab apa apa perkara dalam dunia ni pun, dapat diselesaikan. Hanya perlukan masa dan kesabaran.

Ya, nasihat untuk kamu kamu semua dan seharusnya untuk diri sendiri ini.

Hehe.

Super duper super duper angry.

2009-10-19T18:12:00.001-07:00

I am seriously asphyxiated and choked. I am feeling so disappointed to the fact that I can't believe in any kind of relation with guys. Either it is friendship or relationship; both have taken its toll on me.

Perasaan bila digula-gulakan dengan manusia lain adalah satu perasaan paling mahu dibuang ke laut dan berharap ianya takkan datang memberi salam lagi dan lagi dan lagi.

Rimas.Sangat.

With all 'I-am-good-you-are-not' attitude.

I never felt this angry for such a really long time and I never expected such anger would come again. And it is all to do with the so-called guys. Oh, please. Let me take my break first ok.

Maybe I am a needy friend. Or just plain attention seeking to you, for whatever reason you wished to lay out, I am done. I never ever had intention to be more than what I am supposed to be with you, and seriously I am done with your ego problems. Guys and their egos are too much for me.

Jangan perasan. I am being nice as a friend, with no sly things in my head. And please, you are seriously not my type. Stop there. Stop for whatever reason. I am done. Done. Done. Done. Done. Gosh, guys.

In such a good mood.

2009-10-19T04:18:00.000-07:00

Today I felt much boosted.

Being appraised by your boss for your hardwork totally works the magic to such tiredness and hardship.

I am glad I have cool bosses. Haha, since there are 3 lawyers in that firm, so I have 3 cool bosses. ;)

It makes me want to strive hard and do my very damn best!

And somehow, I started to like to take any task given. Despite how hard and complicating it would be.

Its time to fight my low self esteem dear!